Friday, 15 July 2016

Miscarriage

Yesterday I wrote this on my Facebook page, but thought I'd share it here as well so that the lack of baby posts in future will not cause comment.
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Last night I suffered a miscarriage that ended with me being rushed off to theatre to stop a very heavy bleeding. I had two units of blood during the night, and though I feel like if I have been punched all over and is very tired and rather weak, I'm physically mostly all right now, considering the circumstances. We are of course very sad that this happened, and I've had episodes of crying between periods of calm. I was so looking forward to this baby, and had just started to feel safe from miscarriage. I was in week 13+5.

At the same time I feel grateful. Grateful for modern medicine that made it possible for me to come home to my family again - a hundred years ago, or in some other parts of today's world, I would have died.
Grateful for in-laws that jumped in the car to come to our aid the moment they heard what was going on, and stayed and helped with the children for a night and a day.
Grateful for the friend that showed up after just a few minutes to drive me to the hospital, when Tobias had to stay with the children until relieved by the babysitters, and stayed with me until I was rolled into theatre.
Grateful for the managers at Tobias' work, that without hesitation gave him two days paid leave to care for me and the children.
Grateful for the friends that have dropped off flowers, dinners, chocolate, condolences, offers and promises of further help and other nice things.
Grateful for my husband, so supporting, loving, comforting and helpful, even in his own fog of tiredness and sadness.
Grateful that I have two beautiful children, to make me smile and feel happiness in spite of my grief.

Still, I hope that I never have to experience this again. Now, chocolate. Lots of it.

15 comments:

  1. Dear Sarah, best whishes to you from Cologne <3 :,-(

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  2. I'm a genealogy fan, and I know how much you are right about women deaths during or after pregnancy, and how gratefull we must be toward evolution of medecine.

    There's nothing we can do for you, but please considere that we think about you, and that there are really a lot of women that have lived the same horrible moments.

    In France doctors say that most of the time it happens when something was wrong with the baby. But that can't help us from being sad and loving this baby. That only explains a bit.

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  3. *hugs* Best wishes from Wales, too. My thoughts are with you and your family.
    x

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  4. Dear Sarah, my heart broke to hear this news and my thoughts and prayers are with you. I am so glad you are physically okay and that you have lots of support as you go through this time.

    For me the raw grief lost the raw edge over time, but the grief never goes away. Loosing a baby is a terrible thing, almost the worst thing a mother could have to go through.

    Many many virtual hugs from this side of earth. Love and prayers. I am so sorry.

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  5. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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  6. I'm so sorry for your loss, and for the sadness and trauma surrounding the event. I hope you and your family find peace and comfort with each other in the coming days.

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  7. My heart breaks for you; I am so sorry for your loss! Sending warm, healing, positive thoughts to you.

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  8. So sorry to hear of your loss. I know your family and friends are a comfort at a time like this.

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  9. Sending you and your family warm wishes and virtual hugs ( )( ) ( ) from California.

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  10. Oh, dear, sweet Sarah. I can't even imagine the pain and grief. I'm glad you are alive and on the mend, but so sorry about your loss. *hugs*

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  11. I'm so very sorry. I have experienced miscarriages myself, and I know how devastating they can be. You and your sweet little family are in my prayers.

    Hugs,
    Rachel

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  12. Thank you everyone for your kind word and support. I'm doing as well as can be expected considering the circumstances.

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  13. Du är inte ensam!
    Det finns en bok som heter "Den lilla sorgen" som kanske kan vara något för dig just nu, det var den för mig när jag var i samma situation!
    Kram, Helena!

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  14. I am sorry for your loss and send you and your family all the best! *hugs* Eva

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  15. I'm so sorry for your loss ... I'm new to your beautiful and informative blog and feel as though I've met a new friend. May you never have to face another experience like this again. Many hugs and lots of chocolate. Bastet

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